he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
