Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
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