I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im having a threesome with these popsicles
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
