Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
