he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
3 2 1 whiskey
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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