Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
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