my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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