i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize