I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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