The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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