I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
