i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
