So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
