Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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