whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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