Tell her she can't have a vagina
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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