Christians are straight up FREAKS
he wants to bone in the snuggie
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
