well most of my day revolves around power hour
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
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