Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
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There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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