Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
