Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
