I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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