Welp...herpes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
