barbara walters just said penis...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
