A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
