i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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