I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
