How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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