I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You pole danced in your parka.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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