my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
