these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
