You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
