i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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