My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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