The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Floor bacon is actually really good
Randomize
