I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
