Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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