i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Mom said you looked used
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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