is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
PANTIES FOUND
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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