that's what penises do
they tell lies.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
