Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
