I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
