I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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