She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
