I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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