I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
