I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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