Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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