You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I deserve this hangover.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
