its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
