Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
