He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
