walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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