Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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