Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
