do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
