me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
