I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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