he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
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We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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