kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize
