I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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