The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
